The Story

Here's the story. I write by scenes so bear with me. I try to put them in order, but switch them around a lot. Most of these started out as ridiculously detailed outlines including some technically they weren't really outlines. I like to call them skeletons instead. Anyhoo.... 

Scene 1: Charlie

   I don’t talk much. I guess I’m like my mom that way. My head is just a more comfortable place for my thoughts than the outside world.
     I was staring out the window at the impossibly green forest lining the narrow road to Charlie’s. It was an odd contrast to the deep gray clouds that constantly lingered over Forks, Washington. I’m used to it though, considering I’ve lived here all of my life.
     I can recall memories with perfect clarity. The clouds are always there, in my mind, swirling in the backdrop.
          We pulled up outside the small house, and I could see Charlie peering through the small front window. He opened the door to greet us, his warm smile causing creases at the corners of his dark brown eyes. They’re the same color that Bella, my mom’s were—that mine are.
     “Hey Kido!” he yelled from the front porch before walking out onto the brick driveway. I met him halfway and gave him a hug, clenching my hands into small fists, just to be sure there was no contact with his skin. I knew that wasn’t possible through his thick plaid shirt, but I was used to keeping my distance.
     “Wow, er, you’re kind of gettin’ tall there Ness.” he commented as he backed away to take a look at me from head to toe. Then he turned to my mom. He gave a heavy sigh, and I knew that he had to miss her at least as much as she missed him.
     “Bells.” he said it as a statement, almost like he was wondering if she was still the same person.
     “Hi, Dad.” she said staring at the ground but simultaneously stepping forward to give him probably the most awkward hug on the face of the planet. They stood there for a moment, and then Bella suddenly pulled away, and let out a deep breath before coming over to me and kissing the top of my head.
     “Alice will pick you up tomorrow morning.” she said walking back out to the car. Charlie’s face lit up at the news. He loves Alice, my adoptive aunt. My dad usually picks me up, and he never gets to see Alice.
     The rest of my family is going hunting tonight, so I opted out of this trip to come see Charlie, a very fair compromise. I’ve been doing that a lot lately. I’ll go hunting with them once in a while, but it’s hard for them to skip a trip. I on the other hand, have been trying to be more accustomed to normal food. It’s not growing on me—at all.
     Charlie and I watched Bella speed back down the street, in the direction of my family’s old home.
     “So what do you want to do?” Charlie said to the air in front of him.
     “I’m good with whatever.” I replied to the same air.
     “Okay, Kido.” Charlie said to me as he turned and walked into the house.
     One thing I like about Charlie, he doesn’t hover. He’s perfectly content with sitting on the couch doing nothing. It’s hard to talk to Charlie, because there’s nothing to talk about. I don’t go to school because I grow so fast, both mentally and physically. I don’t have any human friends, because I never go out anywhere. So all there is left to tell him about are the things I do with my Jacob. Most of the time Jacob comes to Charlie’s with me, but that would have been a little weird now because it’s an overnight trip—my first overnight trip. So, Jake stayed home. Correction, Jake is reluctantly sitting on his couch watching reruns of the Simpsons, and being an unapproachable grouch.
     My Jacob lives on the reservation with the rest of the wolf pack. He’s a shape shifter actually, a direct descendant of Ephraim Black, a Quileute spirit warrior. In short, he can shift into a ten foot tall, russet colored wolf that weighs twice as much as a horse. This is completely normal.
     I stood outside staring into the same cold air, when Charlie’s voice came from the doorway and interrupted my thoughts.
     “Are you going to come inside?” he asked looking toward me and then shifting his gaze to the ground. “It’s okay if you want to stay outside, but I thought you might get cold.” He squinted up at the blinding grayish white of the churning clouds over head. “Looks like it might rain.” He took one more look at me, gave a half-hearted smile, then turned and walked back into the house, a perfect demonstration of my favorite Charlie. I smiled into the cold air, and then turned to follow him into the house that smelled of coffee.
     It was warm inside, and the TV was playing a football game. Figures, it is Monday. He sat down on the couch in the small living room, and I followed sitting next to him. It was quiet for a very long time. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable though. It was a filled silence, like Charlie and I were connected. There was no obligation to talk, which I like. I don’t talk much, only when I’m around Charlie. Otherwise I have other means of communication.
     “I’m going to take my things upstairs.” I said, quickly standing up to face Charlie.
     “Okay. Do you need help?”
     “No. I’m fine, thanks.” My bag would seem heavier to Charlie than it would to me.
     “Take your time.” Charlie replied, now very involved in the game.
     I grabbed my pillow, and my overnight bag, and turned around to see if Charlie was paying any attention. He wasn’t, so I quietly darted up the stair case, taking it four steps with each stride. I found my mom’s old room quite easily; it still smells like her. I could tell that nothing had changed in the past five years. Charlie hasn’t touched this room. The walls are still a light periwinkle blue. The lace curtains, yellowed with age, are still hanging on the small window that looks out over the yard. The freshly washed purple bedding that was made up on the bed, frozen, unchanged with time. The only things that were noticeably different, was the ancient computer that no longer sat on the desk, and the rocking chair that had once sat in the corner. Charlie had given the rocking chair to my mom on my first birthday, and it now sits in the corner of my room in the cottage.
     I set my bag down on top of the bed, and unzipped it. My books were the first things I took out, and laid on the small night table. The room was dark, so I flipped on the dusty lamp, giving the room a cozy, incandescent glow. I reached down to the bottom of the bag and took out my laptop, to set it on the desk. I had to finish some work for my online classes, but that wasn’t the homework I was worried about. Alice had given me a project, and she would definitely want to see the finished product tomorrow morning. I’ll work on it later though; right now I just want to spend time with Charlie. I zipped up my bag and slid it under the bed, along with my shoes. I threw my jacket behind me and it landed perfectly on the back of the door, as I glided past it and back down the stairs to my awaiting Charlie.

Scene 2: Food...

     I looked through the cupboard in search of something that smelled even remotely like food. The burning in my throat was growing stronger with every passing second, and the squeezing feeling in my stomach was unbearable.
     I pulled out a boring looking cereal box, hoping that it would taste better than it smelled. I poured it into a bowl. The smell was worse as the dry, pulpy looking flakes rushed through the air and landed at the bottom of the bowl. I poured milk in on top of the small pile of cereal. It didn’t mask the smell it made it worse. It smelled like hot dirt, and chalk. I wanted to gag.
     My mom handed me a spoon. I could tell she wasn’t breathing, though she still had a hopeful expression on her face. I stuck the spoon into the sand colored mess.
     “Holy crow!” I squeaked as the chalky dry substance filled my nose and mouth with an odd taste that I never care to experience again. I chewed quickly and swallowed the small mass, felt it land at the pit of my seemingly cavernous stomach.
     “That bad?” my mom asked grimacing at my reaction.
     “It tastes like cardboard!” I yelled, for lack of a better comparison. My mom pushed the tall glass of water in my direction. I picked it up and sucked it down in a matter of seconds, before setting it down on the counter. I looked up at my mom, who was trying to hold herself together, but was starting to slip. She smiled her perfect dimpled smile as she started laughing, staring up at me with golden eyes. I couldn’t help but to start laughing too. She came around to my side of the counter and hugged me, running her cool fingers through my long curls.
     “Promise I’ll never have to do that again, Momma.” I pleaded. She walked over to the fridge and pulled out a red apple. She held it out to me in the palms of her hands, and I willingly accepted. The apple was soft and juicy, but it was still not as satisfying as my preferred form of nourishment. It was sweet and earthy, though, and would suffice until I won my bet. 

Scene 3: Stupid Tree...

     I could feel the stingingly cold splashes of rain collide with the skin on my cheeks, as I ran through the thick maze of trees. My hands were cold and wet with rain, and I wondered if the water could hear what I was thinking. I wonder if it’s possible for me to be connected to nature in any way. I know it’s not though. Someone like me could never be natural, whole. My dad has the same reasoning, almost. He believes that if you become one of our kind, a vampire, you’re damned for eternity. He believes that once you’re a vampire you have no soul, this was one of the reasons he was so reluctant to change Mom. I, however, am his exception. He thinks that because I’m part human, I still have a chance. It doesn’t matter to me any more though. I’ve dropped the idea mostly. There are still moments like these though, when I am so willing to be connected to the natural world.
     I let the thoughts drift behind me as I ran to catch up with my father at the head of the group. Edward is the fastest out of all my family, although I run a close second – quite literally. As I passed some of my family members I heard Carlisle’s familiar warm laugh from behind me. I turned and ran backwards to see that Esme had jumped onto his back, and covered his eyes. Her hair whipped back into the wind, like long strands of liquid caramel. They were playing. When I turned back around I could sense something was wrong, but it was too late and I slammed face first into a tree.


     Crap, I thought.
     “Watch your language.” My dad said jokingly leaning over me, and trying very hard to suppress a laugh. Bella was not so successful. She started cracking up laughing as she walked over with Alice. She pulled me up out of the mud, and into an upright position.
     “Your spidy senses not working today?” gibed Emmett, pulling a muddy bronze curl from my face. “I have to admit, you are the clumsiest vampire I have ever met.”
     “Emmett, that doesn’t make sense.” Rosalie added in my defense.
     “That’s why it’s so funny.” Emmett laughed.

Scene 4: Blueberries 

     I reached out and took a muffin from the plate on Emily’s small, round kitchen table. Jared and Embry who were chattering a few feet away, slowed to a quiet. As I took a bite I could feel them staring. I slowly turned my head up towards them.
     “Didn’t think bloodsuckers liked people food.” Jared snidely replied.
     Jacob ducked his broad shoulders under the seemingly small door frame, and slapped Jared on the back of the head as he passed. Jared winced, and then gave Embry a sharp look when he started to laugh. They reminded me of child’s play.
     “Told you not to call her that.” Jake scolded.
     “Sometimes I think you guys forget that I’m human.” I said a small giggle escaping.
     “You’re not.” Jared retorted
     “Not completely, but you still forget about the part of me that is.”
     Jacob walked toward me sweeping me up into one of his big bear hugs, and kissed the top of my head. 

Scene 5: Snow

     I woke up to the soft murmur of my father’s voice in my ear. He was sitting on the edge of my bed.
     “Renesmee, you need to get up.”
     “Something happened during the night – you need to go outside right now.”
     My eyes instantly popped open and I sat straight up. Dad must’ve seen everything run through my mind, every possible reason I may need to go outside – the freezing cold outside. The worried expression on his face didn’t help either; I wanted to know what was going on in his head. The suspicion was killing me. It’s times like these when I wish I had inherited his gift, it would make it a lot easier to get information faster.
     “What happened?” I asked cautiously. Did Charlie somehow find the house and try to make Baked Alaska, scorching half the front room in the process? Not likely at all — and if it were likely, I would have heard it. Upon observing the still confused expression I was wearing, he leaned closer and smiled before playfully whispering the answer.
     “It snowed.”
     Instantly my mom was standing at my bedroom door.
     “I already called Jake. He should be here any second.” As soon as she had said this, Dad’s smile disappeared.
     I jumped up out of bed, ran out of my bedroom, down the hallway, and swung open the front door with just a teensy bit more force than was necessary. I stepped out onto the front porch and sure enough, as I stood in the darkness of the early morning clouds wearing my pajamas, he was there. My own personal sunrise was smiling happily back at me.

Scene 6: Running

     “Hey Ness!” Seth waved at me through the rain. He was the first one to emerge from the woods surrounding Emily’s house. He ran up and shook out his short spiky hair in my direction before turning to face me, under the protection of the front porch.
     “Long time, no see, stranger”, I said effectively leaning to the side to dodge the water droplets. “That’s still no excuse to get me wet though.” He stood for a second before a giant grin told me he had an idea.
     “Ness, I’ve missed you so much. I think I need a hug.” He slowly opened his arms to their full span. I never actually noticed how huge Seth had become over the past few years. His arms had to be at least six feet from fingertip to fingertip. He came forward to trap me in an inescapable, sopping wet grip.
     “I don’t think so.” I teased, smoothly ducking under his arm as fast as possible. He turned around— arms still open wide— and looked at me with big brown puppy dog eyes.
     “C’mon Ness, I really want a hug!”
     I took off running through the heavy rain and thick trees. “Then you’re going to have to catch me first.” I called to him over my shoulder. Seth leaped off of the porch chasing after me. I could hear his coarse laugh, and I started to laugh too. I was actually having fun, I was happy.
     I jumped over logs and bounded through the impeccably green, mossy trees. The forest smelled clean, as did the light mist being produced by my speed against the rain. When I sensed Seth’s steady footsteps multiply, I knew he had phased into his sandy brown wolf form. I darted forward even faster. I sure was not going to let him win this race.
     I ran so far forward I could no longer hear his steady footsteps, beating against the soft earth in a steady rhythm. I ran to the exclusion of all else, to the exclusion of my surroundings, to the exclusion of my game with Seth. I kept running fast and strong, until I realized I was running away. I didn’t even know what from, I was just running. If I was truly happy right now, what made me want to get away from it all? Against my better judgment I kept with this pattern, running from nothing. It clears my mind, running. It’s not so much of actually running that does it though. It’s more of the clean sent of nothingness, and the cold air rushing in and out of my lungs. It’s as purifying to the body as it is to the mind.
     I had to stop. It’s been a few hours, and I have to get back to Emily’s. By now she’s probably heard from Seth that I took off. I don’t want her to worry. I’d hate to torment her like that. Emily isn’t like a second mother or a sister to me, but it’s actually really hard to describe my relationship with her. I feel protective of her, like I do most humans I meet, but to me Emily doesn’t seem human. Of course I can tell she’s human by her sent (she smells like citrus and linen), but it’s almost as if because she knows of this other world she’s something more. I can never figure it out, what connection she has to me, but I know she’s a friend, a friend who’s probably freaking out due to my absence. I’ve at least been out here for an hour or two… or three.
     I saw a clearing up ahead and memorized my surroundings before closing my eyes and flying toward it. I stopped dead in my tracks, my eyes squeezed shut. I didn’t want my peace to be over before I had to return to a house full of worried and angry wolves. I hadn’t even stood still for a second before the wind knocked me to the side. I couldn’t fight it either. I landed on the ground with a muted thud, and rolled onto my back. I opened my eyes to the sky that was no longer drenching the ground with large droplets of cold, clean water. Instead I could see nothing but white as the ice cold wind whipped around me.
     I couldn’t run back now. I had wasted all my energy and my lungs were pulling in small frequent gasps of the frozen air. Maybe I could wait it out, just until I gained enough energy to get back to the house. I sat up in the thickening ice and snow and peered through the blinding white and grey, at the surrounding trees. Great. Even if I could physically get home, I had no idea where I was. Jake’s going to kill me when he figures out I’m lost – if he hasn’t already.
     I stood up carefully trying to evade the gusts of wind and slush. My hair was matted against my face by melting ice and water. I pulled it out of the way and smoothed it back behind my ears. I could try to follow my sent back to Emily’s, but that would be a long shot. The rain has probably washed it away by now. Besides, I had probably been all over these woods when Jacob was leading the way. I could try to follow Seth’s sent out, but he’s been all over the place as a wolf. I could run in the general direction I came, but I may have taken a few sharp turns in my little game with Seth. Maybe he was still phased. Maybe the pack is looking for me right now!
     “Seth!” I called to him at the top of my lungs.
     “Jacob!” I called to the opposite side of the clearing, “I’m over here!”
     I began to wave my arms frantically above my head. What was I doing? Was I trying to flag down an airplane? I gave up on my visual signaling, and plopped down dejectedly into the snowy grass. I sighed and my breath was visible in the chill air. Looking down at my arms I realized I had goose bumps. I rubbed the sides of my arms and legs, to try to warm myself up with friction. It was starting to get dark, so I began my calling out to Jake again. I sat in the middle of the clearing desperately calling to the one I wanted most, before falling into the cold, dark sleep I would be found in.

Scene 7: Found

     I opened my eyes as the heat rolled off of my frosted cheeks. I was staring into the huge, brown eyes of the russet Jacob wolf. He ran off into the nearby wood, and returned to me in his human form.
     “Renesmee!” he started, “What the hell did you think you were doing out here alone?” He came and kneeled beside me, pulling me up close to him.
     “Seth lost you. He kinda freaked out.” He said. I buried my face into his warm chest, as he tried to heat up my comparatively small hands with his giant ones.
     “Your hands are like icicles.” he said, his tone beginning to soften. “C’mon let’s go. Emily is going crazy, and we need to get you back to normal.” I laughed at this phrase. “Well, almost normal.” he quietly agreed.
     He carried me back to his house where the rabbit was waiting out front. He set me in the passenger seat and made it a point that I stay there. He walked into the house, and left the door wide open, saying something to Billy who was sitting in a chair by their small television set. Billy glanced over at me and nodded, so I suspected I was going to be watched until Jacob came back out. Billy grabbed the phone sitting on the table next to him without taking his eyes off me. He was probably calling Emily to let her know I was okay, although from what words I could make out over the wind outside it sounded like Seth had already told her. He probably heard Jacob find me through the whole shared thoughts network.
     I clicked the seatbelt into place over myself, and held my knees to my chest in an attempt to stay warm. Jake’s shadow jumped back and forth across his window as he jumbled through his cluttered room. He was mad I could tell. After years of experience, I could tell when Jacob was mad if he was standing fifty miles away. This sort of mask not only takes control of his features, but of Jake himself. The real Jake, my Jake, is still there but sometimes it takes more than just sorry to bring him out. I’m going to have to wait this out just like the storm, which had laid a thick new layer of snow on the ground. I hated making Jake mad, because it hurts him to be angry with me, which hurts me because I hurt him. If that even makes sense….  Then again what does in my life? It’s literally a vicious circle.
     Jacob came out of the house with a pile of blankets wrapped around his arms. He opened the door and tucked them around me. One thing was for sure he definitely wanted me to get warm before we got to my house. That could mean only one thing.
     “So when were you planning on telling my parents about this?”
     He didn’t answer, just shut the door, stared at me as he walked to the other side of the car, and didn’t break his gaze until he shut the door after getting into the driver’s seat.
     “I wasn’t going to. Somehow, Seth convinced me into not calling your parents as soon as I found out you took off. You’re lucky he likes you so much; otherwise you’d be dealing with your old man right now, or worse — your mom. I’m taking you to Carlisle, just to make sure you don’t have hypothermia or something like that, so they’ll know coming up pretty soon.” 
     “I don’t have hypothermia.” I said decidedly.
     “Sure, sure.” He said in his I-don’t-care-I’m-ignoring-you-anyways voice.
     He started the engine and turned his heater on full blast, even though sitting next to him was like sitting next to a roaring fire. He backed out of the driveway, and sped toward the 101 on his way to the old house. I suddenly felt dizzy and rested my head on the window of the car. My breath fogged up a small circle in the glass. I tried to pull my arm up to draw a happy face with my finger, but it wouldn’t move. I figured I was just too tired and gave up. It had grown dark outside making the green of the trees black, like the sky above. The only way to tell where one stopped and the other started, was by the bright stars shining in the space above us. The dizziness got worse and I closed my eyes hoping it would alleviate the spinning feeling in my stomach, but all it did was amplify it. My eyelids began to feel heavy so I just left them shut, though I couldn’t go to sleep.
     After about a half an hour or so, we pulled up to the old house, and Jacob parked out front. He got out and shut his door, then came around to the other side to get me. He opened my door and then crouched down next to me.
     “C’mon Nessie, if you walk in there you may be able to show him your fine.”
     I nodded my head but kept my eyes shut. I was afraid that if I opened them, I would just be welcoming another wave of vertigo. I swung my legs to the side and set them gently onto the ground. I freed my seemingly heavy arms from the mass of blankets, and pulled myself up onto my feet. As soon as I let go of the frame of the car, I fell forward stumbling into Jake’s unsuspecting arms. I lay there limp leaning on his shoulder, but I didn’t have it in me to pull myself up. He pushed me back up onto my feet, balancing me there, but still kept his hands wrapped securely around my shoulders. My head rolled back, and when it snapped forward my eyes popped open automatically. A look of confusion came over Jacob’s face and the mask melted away, before I saw something in his eyes I wish never to see again – fear. For two agonizing seconds Jacob was afraid of me, and I had no idea why. The fear vanished, and replaced itself with a new kind of fear in the form of insane worry. Before I could say anything I was being swung into Jacob’s arms and carried into the house.
     “Carlisle! Carlisle!” Jacob ran, desperately calling for Grandfather.
     Carlisle stepped out onto the porch and looked almost as shocked as Jacob had a few seconds ago, though he wasn’t afraid. He motioned for Jacob to take me into the house. As we made our way to the living room, the familiar sweet smell of home overwhelmed my senses. Carlisle flashed up the stairs and into his office; he was back down with a thermometer in a few seconds. Jacob laid me on the couch as Carlisle swiped the thermometer across my forehead and behind my ear. The dizziness grew stronger and my whole body stung.
     “What happened?” Carlisle asked breathlessly, reading the thermometer. “Her temperature is far below normal for humans, let alone her kind.”
     “She was with Seth. We have no idea what happened, but they somehow got separated and she was stuck in the snow for a few hours. I should’ve called you. This is my fault.” Jacob said guiltily, although I was the one who felt guilty. He was covering for me and blaming himself. This was my fault, whatever this is, not his.
     Carlisle placed a hand on Jacob’s shoulder, “This is no one’s fault Jacob.” He looked at him for a moment, and then slid me into his arms and flashed upstairs. It felt so different to be in the cold arms of my grandfather, after leaving Jacob’s warm embrace only moments ago. He laid me down on the small chaise in his office, amidst the towering shelves that harbored hundreds of books.

 Scene 8: The Fire

     “Jacob, you should keep her close. Her body temperature will come up faster…or at least keep from dropping.” I had never heard his voice so unsure; then again I am a special case. Carlisle knows almost everything there is to know about vampires, humans, and more recently, shape-shifters. He’s had years to study their make-up, but I’ve only been around a short while. I’ve grown so fast, that it’s sometimes hard to study me; I’m always changing. There’s a new mystery to solve every day, every inch, every heartbeat, every breath, and now my only sickness.
     Jacob eased me into his arms, tucking my head under his chin to rest on his shoulder. The stinging feeling grew stronger now. I could feel the spread of a faint, dull, burn in my muscles. Not unlike fire, but still not warm. It was more like liquid nitrogen. A blizzard in my blood, freezing every cell in my body as it took me over.
     “Grandfather it burns.” I said, keeping my voice even, controlling my pain.
     “I know.” Carlisle said as he nodded to someone at the door. Alice flew into the room followed by Jasper, followed by a sudden wave of clarity and relaxation in my mind. I closed my eyes. Alice came around to kneel in front of me, reaching for my hand. “Don’t touch her.” Carlisle warned. I could hear Jasper’s quick footsteps glide along the floor, stopping behind Alice.
     “What’s wrong?” Aunt Rose’s voice came from the doorway. The sound made me react in a way I had not meant to. My eyes snapped open, and I reached a cold hand out to her. She gasped and stepped toward me.
     “No. Go get Edward and Bella, immediately.” Carlisle ordered. Aunt Rose obeyed. She was gone in a blur, as she darted down the stairs.
     “You’ll be okay baby, Nessie. Momma will be here soon, I’ll find her. You’ll be okay. You’ll be okay.” I heard her whisper from down stairs as she sped out the front door.
     Jasper knelt down and put an arm around Alice, who was staring intently into my eyes. “Alice? I need you to do something for me.” Carlisle said softly. Alice looked up at him and nodded. “Go into your bathroom and start the shower running on the hottest temperature.” Alice was up and out of the room like lightening; I could hear water running in under a second. Jasper stayed to keep me calm. My heartbeat was slowing down, and I wasn’t sure if it was because of the burning, or him.
     “Jake, it hurts.” I whispered.
     “Carlisle will make it stop, baby. Just relax and try to get warm.” His voice sounded uncertain as he met Carlisle’s eyes. He tightened his grip around me, and reached down to pull my legs up into his lap, curling me into a small ball. As he did, the heat of his skin smoldered through mine, making me cringe.
     “No. You hurt Jacob.” I said, struggling a little, trying to wriggle free without hurting him. His grip loosened. “You’re skin, you burn. It’s burning me!” I said as the pain intensified between us. I started thrashing around trying to break free. I tried not to touch him, because I knew if he could see into my head, he would feel the pain. I didn’t want to hurt Jacob.
     “Don’t let her go!” Carlisle ordered. Why was he trying to hurt me? Jacob was burning me. I could feel the fire press into my skin. “Run her to Alice’s bathroom now! I think I know what’s going on!”
     I could hear four people fly through the door down stairs as Jacob struggled to keep me in his arms, and Jasper tried to calm me enough to send me into a comma. The fire burned away all the calm and all that was left was overwhelming pain and panic.
     “Carlisle! She’s freezing, but she says I’m burning her!”
     “I’ll explain later! Get her to Alice now!”
     Jacob stood up, and quickly ran down the hallway. The rush of cool air that ran over me dulled the fire just enough so I could stand to stop fighting. I didn’t want to hurt Jacob, which I knew could happen so easily, if I let myself fight back as hard as I wanted to. Carlisle was ahead of us, and suddenly my father was up next to Jacob, trying to take me to Alice himself. I closed my eyes tightly to avoid the same look that had come across the faces of the rest of my family tonight, from my parents.
     “No Edward, don’t. You’re too cold, you’ll only hurt her.” Carlisle said quietly over his shoulder. My father instantly stopped trying to take me from Jacob, and followed closely by his side. My mother was close. I could smell her, sense her there. In only a few seconds we had arrived in Alice’s bathroom, and I could feel the steam rolling out of the glass doors of her shower. It set the surface of my skin ablaze as it bubbled up and wafted around the shape of my wrist, tightly tucked to my chest.
     “Take her in.” Carlisle motioned to the shower. No. No. He was going to burn me. Why did grandfather want to burn me? I squirmed a little in Jacob’s deliberating hold.
     “Shhh. I got you. You’ll be fine.” Jacob reassured, rocking me a little. The burning of his skin was beginning to numb. “What do you want me to do Carlisle?”
     “Take her in. It will get her body temperature up. And if my theories are correct, we haven’t got time to stand about. We must act now. Please, Jacob, do as I say. Take her in.”
     Jacob did as he was told, and took me in. The acid droplets hit my skin and exploded. They saturated my clothes and held the flame against my body. I had no escape. I screamed. Cool hands rushed forward to meet me as Jacob collapsed under my sudden strength.
     “It’s okay baby.” The sweet voice assured as the long, cool arms cradled me in the bottom of the shower. I pressed my hand to my mother’s icy neck, showed her the burn, and wondered why. “It burns me too. Just breathe, and try not to think too much about it. It’ll go away soon enough.” She promised as she smoothed my wet, matted curls away from my face. I showed her a picture of Jacob and wondered if. “Jacob is okay. You didn’t hurt him, he only let go because I wanted you.”
     I heard Carlisle silently usher everyone out of the room. Jacob and my father put up a bit of a fight, but they both knew I was in good hands. The best hands.
     Her low body temperature made the water a more bearable, and as she heated up, so did I. After a long while my head began to clear, and I could breathe evenly again. I felt stronger, though the water in my clothes still burned. I pressed my hand up to my mother’s face, and her topaz eyes understood. She stretched forward to turn off the water with her fingertips.
     “Esme will be angry with us for dripping water all over her floors.” She teased. There was still a sense of worry in her voice as she tried to keep me calm. She reached around me and gently squeezed the water from my hair. She stood and carried me out of the shower, but did not try to stop me when I lightly leapt from her arms. As I went to turn and walk out of Alice’s bathroom though, she stopped me.
     “Don’t look in the mirror.” She pleaded. Her words of course made me curious, and I froze before her taking in her worried expression as a crease formed between her eyebrows, and her teeth folded over her bottom lip. I held her hand and wondered why. “She smiled. Nothing’s wrong. You’re still my beautiful baby.” She said smiling and hugging me. Her head rested on top of mine, and I heard silence where her heart used to beat. “I just don’t want you to be scared.”
     “Why would I be scared Momma?” 

 Scene 9: The Journal
     “Isn’t there anything to read around here?” I complained. All of my favorites were at home, but I wanted to read something new.
     “You mean you haven’t  read everything yet?” Emmet asked, surprised.
     “Apparently I have.”
     “No, I mean you haven’t read every book in the world yet?”
     I gave him a look that would have sent chills down the spine of any clear minded human. Then a voice came from the stairs behind me.
     “I think I have a solution.” Grandmother said, offering me her hand. She led me up the stairs and into Grandfather’s library.
     I’ve read most of these Gramama.
      “I know, my sweet, but I also know someone who can help.”
     As always Grandfather was sitting at his desk. He looked up from a small leather bound book that he was writing in with a metal calligraphy pen. Grandmother smiled, kissed me on the cheek and left the room. Her kiss felt warmer than usual, but still sent a chill through my skin. I was coming back to normal temperature, but it would never be fast enough.
     “Renesmee, please, sit down. I don’t feel comfortable with you being up and about yet.” He motioned to a big leather chair across from his desk. I leapt lightly into the chair, to sit cross legged before him. He let out an annoyed sigh, and I just smiled.
     “I feel fine you know.” I assured. I was sick of sitting around waiting for nothing to happen. Although sitting with my Jacob was definitely an upside— my new best friend version of Jacob. I was still getting used to the idea that I controlled him. He didn’t have a choice but to love me and it wasn’t fair. No creature should be forced into something, especially a creature as free spirited and beautiful as Jacob Black.
     “Where have I heard this before?” he asked peering down at me. “You’re just like your mother you know. She was very good at suppressing emotions, even for a human. However, I am not so easily fooled my flower. You may feel physically fine, which I myself am not entirely convinced of, but I can tell something is bothering you. Would you like to talk about it?” He asked. I couldn’t say no. How could I? Even though his eyes were black with thirst, they still seemed sympathetic, and filled with trusting compassion. As hard as it was I shook my head no. “Would you rather show me then?” he tried. How could I resist. It would be so easy, one touch. One touch and he would know everything. Maybe he could help?
     I stepped forward and gently placed my hand on the side of his smooth young face. I could see the understanding flash through his eyes as he saw the unveiling of the new Jacob a few nights ago, my thoughts about imprinting, everything Emily had said to me, what really happened in the blizzard…. Then all the emotions that had been caused by these events were sent like a wave through him, and he completely understood. I slowly backed away letting my hand slip from his cool skin, and crawled back into the huge chair, pulling my knees into my chest. Carlisle sat silently for a moment before making the oddest, most peculiar demand.
     “Name three random animals.”
     “Excuse me? What does this have to do with—?” I asked curiously.
     “Please, just try it.” He encouraged. “Don’t think about it too much. Just name the first three animals that you think of.”
     “Lion, owl, wolf.” I replied
     “Very good, now find the magnificence of each animal.”
     “Lions are graceful yet ferocious. Owls are wise, mysterious, and beautiful, they are predators yet they have so many limitations. They are quite fragile actually. Wolves are brave, but they need their family. A wolf separated from its pack is the saddest, loneliest creature on Earth.”
     Carlisle smiled, and then sat resting his chin in his palm, pondering for a moment. He looked at me as if I were a puzzle, which needed putting together. I knew Carlisle enjoyed the challenge of solving the mystery behind the workings of my hybrid body and mind, but I hadn’t seen him this happy for a while, especially in light of the recent events.
     “A curious thing, the subconcious is.” He began. “The first animal is how you see yourself, the second animal, is how others see you, and the third animal is something about yourself.” He finished. I must have looked slightly confused, because Grandfather just laughed, and told me it was a lot to take in.
     “Instead of reading something, why don’t you try writing something? Hmm?” He bent down and opened a drawer. I slid softly out of the chair and tiptoed over to the edge of his desk. He resurfaced holding a small journal. It had a leather cover, with delicate flowers and tangled vines etched into the soft exterior. He also had a metal calligraphy pen, with a small pot of dark green ink. He wrapped them into a piece of old canvas, and handed them to me. I held my hand up to his face once more.
     Thank you, Grandfather. They are beautiful treasures.
     I turned to walk out of the office and into my father’s old room, but Carlisle stopped me.
     “Renesmee, that journal will never tell your secrets. Writing everything down is good for the soul.” He then went back to what he was doing before Esme brought me to him, writing in his own journal which was laid on a piece of canvas, with his own calligraphy pen and dark blue ink.

Scene 10: Different

      Jane turned to focus her thoughts on Jacob. No, I couldn’t stand to watch this. I wanted to run and hide but I couldn’t escape the stone grip of my father’s arms around my shoulders. As much as I wriggled, I couldn’t break free.
     Dad, let go.
     “Renesmee, I’m not letting you go out there. I can’t.”
     Please. Let me at least try.
     “No. You’re too small, too inexperienced. I won’t let my little girl be hurt.”
          This whole conversation took about a second. I was at the end of my rope. I had to get out there. I began to fight back against Edward’s hold, thrashing and squirming. And then, by some miracle, I somehow broke free. I was off in a cold sprint. I could feel my mother’s shield break around me, and then chase after me pushing faster and faster toward me. But I didn’t want that, I wanted to be vulnerable, I wanted Jane to see me.
     “Jane!” I screamed desperately.
     She shifted her gaze toward me and I knew what was coming next, and I sped up. I had almost reached her when I collapsed and fell to my feet. I heard a blood curling, antagonizing scream, and then I realized it was me. Her eyes – bright like rubies – turned away from me to face Jacob, but not before I reached out and grabbed her ankle sending a sharp crackling noise, through the statically charged air.
     I feel pain!, I thought with every bit of raw will I had in my mind.
     “You feel pain! We feel pain!” I sobbed.
     Jane dropped light as a feather in front of me, but with a sound similar to the crashing of thunder. She was quiet and still, but I knew what she was feeling. Almost like we were connected, and just for that moment in time she felt what others had felt under her curse. She stopped almost immediately, and it was quiet. Everyone in the meadow was standing completely still, the wolves, the Volturi, my family. I was surprised my parents hadn’t come to me yet, but when I gained enough energy to look back at them they were in total shock. I reached my arms out to them, and in a millisecond I was being cradled in my father’s lap, my mother leaning over me.
     They were speechless. I wasn’t exactly sure if they knew what just happened, but it wouldn’t take long for them to figure out.
     “Ness, are you okay?” were the first words my mother could come up with.
     “I’m tired.” was all I could say back.
     My dad gave a sigh of relief, and then kissed my forehead.
     “Why did you let go?”
     “You said you weren’t going to let go, but you did.”
     “I was confused about what I was seeing in Alice’s head. I understand now, and I’m so sorry. The last thing I wanted was for you to be hurt, especially by the work of Jane’s sadistic mind.”
     “Don’t be sorry. I needed this, she needed to feel this. I just want to go home.”
     “We’ll take you home. Right now, we’ll run home and you can sleep.” my mom promised.
     She hugged me close to her, and whispered to my dad “Take my baby home.”
     My dad stood up, me in his arms, and my mom close by his side. The others were slowly coming out of shock.
     “We’re going home.” he announced.
     “But the Volturi…” Rosalie gestured to the scarlet eyed vampires across the field from us.
     Jane was sitting up now, her legs swung off to the side under her short, black, velvet dress and black, satin cape. She looked completely confused, as the others around her waited for her to recover.
     “We will resolve this later.” my dad replied coolly, shooting a meaningful look towards Carlisle who was coming to stand next to him.
     “We need to go to the house, now.” Bella said to the rest of my family, actually it was almost a command. “Alice, when we get back I want to know everything.” Alice couldn’t answer back just nodded, her mind in another place.
     My mother looked so superior. That’s what I really like about her, that fact that she is so comfortable in her mindset. Maybe that’s why my dad couldn’t read her mind, because of her sureness in herself. Once she makes up her mind it’s like her decisions are set in stone. Her path to get there may change, but she always ends up at the right destination.
     I expected Jake to run up, as worried as ever, any second. He didn’t though, and I wondered where he was. Did Felix sneak off, while I was distracting Jane?
     “Where’s Jacob?” I asked frantically, almost jumping out of Edward’s arms.
     “Whoa, hold on.” My mom said, putting a comforting hand on my shoulder. “Where is Jacob?” she asked, looking up at my father.
     “He wanted to get the others out of harm’s way. They are all going to regroup down at La Push, to make sure the area is secure, that Renesmee is safe from any more surprises the Volturi has in mind. He’ll meet us at the house.” My dad replied, a hint of relief in his hushed voice. He liked the idea of Jacob being able to protect me. As much as he hated it, Jacob’s pack was his backup.
     My dad set off running, following Mom through the thick, green forest of Forks, my family following close behind. I began to drift in and out of consciousness, until I finally fell asleep to silent footsteps.

 Scene 11: Awake

     I woke up to soft murmuring voices drifting in the air around me. Alice was talking to Bella in the corner of the living room in the old house. Edward, Carlisle and Jasper were opposite the room, but they were all talking so fast I couldn’t make out what they were saying. I shifted my weight and tried to sit up, but Rosalie’s calm hands pushed me back down.
     “Shhhhh. It’s okay, you’re okay.” her slow whisper reassured. Everyone was at my side in an instant. My mother was on her knees in front of me holding my hand tightly in both of hers. She was stingingly cold but her hands, as smooth as a marble, couldn’t have made me feel warmer.
     “How do you feel?” she asked, almost confused. I could tell she didn’t know what else to say. Well, she probably did, but didn’t want to flood me with questions. I myself had so many questions. How did I know what to do? How could I have ever known I could use my gift like that? And what exactly could Alice see that could have made my dad let go? Did she see what happened with Jane? Something wasn’t making sense, and I knew I was missing a huge piece to the puzzle. I felt like it was staring me in the face, and whenever I was close to the answer it would run away, screaming as it went. Then, the answer hit me. It pounded through my brain like a wrecking ball, a wrecking ball that was screaming the answer in every possible language and volume. Alice couldn’t see me in her visions. Whatever Alice saw, whatever my mom wanted to know, whatever my dad was apologizing to me for in the clearing was about something that hadn’t happened yet. It was about something I had caused though. My mental battle in the clearing had triggered someone else’s decisions, altering the future.
     It was too much for me to handle all the possibilities rushing through my head. I could hear the blood pulsing through my veins echo in my ears, and my hands automatically snapped up grasping the sides of my head. I couldn’t even speak just give out panicked, fractured breaths. Bella was just as hysterical as I was, and she too was grasping at my hands asking me what was wrong, and if I was hurt. By the expression on her face, I could tell that if her body could make tears, she would be crying. I was crying. Something I hadn’t done in a long time, one of my many human traits. I finally collected enough control and energy to look up at Alice, a pained and sorrowful expression contorting her small features.
“Alice, what did you see?”
     She turned and looked away, and I half expected a tear to roll down her cheek.
     “Baby, we have to leave.” my mom said burying her face into my hands, which were now lying out lifelessly in front of my body. My dad appeared behind her rubbing his hand down her back, though I wasn’t entirely sure he wouldn’t crumple down on the floor next to her. He gently pulled Bella back away from me, so he could sit in front of me. I could see my brown eyes reflecting in the light golden of his. They were calming to me, more so than any other member of my family, who had the same exact eyes. The difference is that whenever I look at my dad’s eyes, I imagine the emerald green that they once were, and I can truly see who my dad used to be. I see the human Edward, the part of him that I so gladly represent. He looked at me for a moment, as he knew I would calm down from what he has heard before in my thoughts, and then smoothly slid his hands underneath me to carry me to the car. I barley even noticed I was off of the couch, before we were in the garage.
     “Take my car, it’s faster.” I heard Alice whisper to my father, before laying the keys to her bright yellow porche on my stomach. He put me on the back seat, just as soon as my mother fastened my seat belt. I heard the trunk slam before seeing Rosalie pass by my window, Esme close behind her.

Scene 12: Running

    “Rosalie and Esme have already packed your things. We’re going away for awhile until we know what to do. Jasper is going to talk to Carlisle and keep us updated on certain things, like when we can come back… or where we need to go.” I could tell my mom wasn’t trying to upset me, keep me as calm as possible.
     We were already on the road. I didn’t get to say goodbye to my family, not even Charlie, and I didn’t know how long we would have to run.
     “It’s Aro isn’t it? I affected his decisions by saving Jacob, didn’t I?”
     Silence was my reply. I looked at my mother, who was staring at me, deciding. She was deciding whether or not to tell me the details to what I already knew.
     “Yes.” It was a slow, unsure answer. She knew that I would want more, but was trying to get by with as little information as possible.
     “They never told you anything. You know how it feels, to have the right to know and not get anything at all. Don’t put me through this Momma. I have the right to know what I’ve gotten us into.” I was beyond the point of sadness, I was angry. I could feel the uncontrollable hot tears form, and they felt heavy in the bottom of my eyes. I was angry at myself for putting us in this situation. I was angry at Jane for provoking me, for forcing me to do something I didn’t know I was capable of doing. But the worst thing was that, no matter how hard I tried not to be, I was angry with Jacob and that hurt considerably worse than anything else. I couldn’t help but to be angry with Jacob because if he had done what I had told him to do and stayed away from the clearing, we wouldn’t be running. If he had stayed away the Volturi wouldn’t be on their way to kill us right now. It was still entirely my fault though because I told Jacob what was going on, and I should have known better. Did I think he would just sit back and let the most powerful and dangerous vampires in the world anywhere near me?
     My dad had an uncomfortable look on his face, not of pain but of confusion. He sighed and I had no idea what he was thinking about. It drives me crazy that he knows why I do the things I do, and I don’t have a clue what he is thinking. I sometimes wish I had inherited my dad’s gift, and who knows maybe we wouldn’t be in this mess. I would have read Jake’s mind and known he was planning to be there. I could’ve stopped him. I would have saved my family from inescapable disaster. But no, I had to be crazy and different and flip things backwards. The same with my mom’s gift! Instead of breaking the shield my mom had put around me, I could’ve shielded Jake from Jane, and that would be the end of that. What has been done cannot be changed, and we are in danger. It’s still fun to throw ideas around though…
     We pulled up to an old building with covered parking spaces out front. There was a warm yellow light coming from the glass double doors in between two of the old metal structures. They were covered with tan curtains from the inside, and old blue lettering printed on the green overhanging above it told me we were about to pull into Beaver City Motel. Wow, you know your dad is a dangerously fast driver, when he condenses the normally four hour trip from Forks to Beaver into about an hour and a half. Although I really don’t blame him, the faster we get away from Forks the better. If we’re not in Forks the Volturi won’t come looking for us there, and I know Charlie, and Emily, the packs, they’ll all be safe… hopefully.
     My dad parked the car in one of the vacant parking spots and then got out. I had been looking silently out my window for the whole drive, yet I hadn’t noticed how dark it was. Only the dim flickering of the one street lamp let me see that my dad was entering the lobby through the rain. I twisted around in my seat looking to every corner of the sky just to catch a glimpse of moonlight, but nothing. I couldn’t even see the stars through the thick clouds overhead.
     “What’s wrong? What are you looking for?” my mom asked, running her fingers through her hair as she sat up from looking out her window. I caught a glimpse of her scar shimmering in the stream of light from the faulty street lamp.
     She smiled. “I already looked, you won’t find it. It’s a new moon.”
     I smiled at the fact that she knew that I was looking for the moon. “How fitting” I replied.
     Her smile slowly disappeared and I anticipated what was coming next. I adjusted myself in my seat to face her and she did the same. I felt her shield bubble up around me, protecting my mind from my father. She took a deep breath and began with her explanation.
     “Renesmee, you know I love you right? You are the most important thing in the world to me, and I would do anything to protect you, so would your dad.” She looked at me her golden eyes swimming with worry. I nodded and she continued. “You were right earlier. I hated it when they didn’t tell me anything, but I understood – to some extent. I knew they were doing it to protect me, because in those situations I was extremely vulnerable. You’re a little more durable than I was so I’m using that to justify my telling you what’s going on, because you’re right. You do have the right to know. But first, I want to know what you think is going on, so I know where I need to start.”
     It was hard to make the words come out. I lifted my hands and rested them on either side of her cold face. She closed her eyes, and absorbed everything that ran through my mind. Even one thought I particularly didn’t want her to see. It was a nightmare I had had when I was little, but now I was older in this version. We were standing before and endless line of hooded figures with gleaming ruby eyes. They were oddly mesmerizing, and though they frightened me I couldn’t look away. I had the strange urge to take a closer look. I stood frozen in my place clinging to my mother’s side, my father’s arms around the both of us. From behind the wall of Volturi soldiers, I heard a high, shrill laugh, and Aro stepped through the middle of the line. His clouded red eyes settled on me before he whispered, “Destroy the child.”
     My parents leapt in front of me as the soldiers advanced, and I squeezed my eyes shut, I always woke up to the sound of breaking glass.
     My mother slid my hands away from her face, and pulled me into her lap. I rested my head on her shoulder, as she stroked my long hair.
     “It’s okay.” She said rocking me back and forth. “I would never let that happen. If one day you were gone, there wouldn’t be a meaning to anything. You’re the most important thing in my world; I could never let you be hurt or taken away from me. I couldn’t exist without my little nudger.” She kissed my forehead, and continued to rock me in her lap. I inhaled deeply, her sweet sent comforted me, and the familiarity calmed me down.
     “Aro does know what happened in the clearing, but he doesn’t want to kill you. He wants to take you.” She squeezed her eyes shut, and her mouth pressed into a hard line. I could tell there was more, but it was too painful for her to say right now. She took a deep breath and started again. “And he knows that if he takes you, your dad and I will surely follow. If not, well—you are the most valuable to him now. He’ll do anything to have you as part of his collection.” How could Aro already know about what had happened between Jane and me? Could the news really spread that fast, or was he closer than I thought? It couldn’t have, there hadn’t been enough time. Unless….
     “Momma, how long was I asleep?” I asked cautiously.
     “Since we brought you home? You slept through the night, and most of today. Everyone was really worried, especially Carlisle. I was worried when you went cold for awhile, but I could see you dreaming when I held your hand. I was the only one, besides Edward, who could touch you. Carlisle was cautious when it came to things that would affect your temperature, so he only allowed me and your father to touch you. You were dreaming about a park—”
     “Yeah, I was with Jacob.” I laughed, “That was a good dream.”
     “Jake agreed. He had the task of keeping you warm. You didn’t have as many nightmares after he fell asleep next to you.” She smiled at this thought. I never did have nightmares around Jacob. Even if I did, they vanished as soon as I woke up. It was like he was a giant dream catcher, my soft, warm, russet-skinned, shaggy-haired, dream catcher. All the bad things seemed to melt away, when I saw the love and adoration in his dark eyes. Where was Jacob?
     I put my hand up to Mom’s face and gave her a picture of Jacob, wondering. No, not wondering demanding. Why isn’t he with us?
     My dad opened the door very gently, making no sound. I could only tell the door had been opened by the rush of cool air that pierced through the heat, rising off my skin.
     “Come on, I got us a room for the night.” He said reaching for me, but my mom still held me close to her as she got out of the car. My dad sighed; he hated being denied gentlemanly rights. My arms were wrapped around her neck, and I gently pressed my hand to her back.
     You can put me down, I’m okay.

I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters. Based off of the novel Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer. Queen Meyer rules all.

1 comment:

  1. twihard611 from Polyvore. I really love your creative stories and I'm happy I get to see what kind of goes on in that head of yours. :)